It’s not Mexican, its CRAP

While in Toronto I went to that joint on King St. W last week…. the one with the Rooster… it was disappointing. This was my 3rd time, the second being slightly less exciting than the first so I kinda excepted it to be shite.

This place is a one-trick pony. Do you know what the problem with a one-trick pony is? There is but one trick.

Valdez (just remembered the name) is no exception to this equinian tragedy mainly because they have chosen a cuisine that primarily showcases beans and avocado, god’s dynamic duo of mushy blandness, pulverized and served with chips. The point is there are only so many times you can say “gee, it’s so authentic” before you get tired of eating paste and begin to crave a good steak. Not to sell them short, they are not just beans and guac, they have a number of other dishes from the Greater Mexi-Spain-Maimi region but they all pretty much rely on the “authentic” aspect to carry the day instead of flavour.

What I find really surprising, besides the fact that I have now been there 3 times, is that they are in business at all. It’s basically a deconstructed Burrito Boyz with a liquor license charging 10x the price of any other Mexican joint. They must be sliding blow out of the theatre-prop-flea-market in the front of the building in order to make rent.

On the topic of booze, they suck at it. I can forgive boring food but what I can not abide are small drinks that take 15 minutes to arrive if they arrive at all. Worst of all, the draft beer comes in a juice cup!!!

Other lowlights:

The wait staff is best described as a sausage-fest dowsed in Axe Body Spray.

The restaurant has the look and feel of a concrete bunker with a flea market out front.

It has the acoustics of a flushed toilet

On the positive side:

The wine list doesn’t require a corkscrew.

They serve lunch

I guess it’s better than the date rape emporium that used to occupy that address

I just burped – tastes like chicken