Top ten things likely in Rob Ford’s belly:
1. A pound of crack (… that fell off the kilo he smuggled up to Muskoka)
3. Sandro Lisi
4. A big ball of Karma
5. Doug’s head
6. That creepy little dude from Total Recall
7. A hair ball
8. The alternate world that his family lives on
9. Ford Nation
10. Ironically, the cure for cancer
Get well soon,
I’ve got a lot of friends in Toronto, Canada and for that reason I have been following their Mayor’s (Rob Ford) saga surrounding his drug use. It appears that he, amongst a heap of other un-mayor-like shit, smokes crack. He doesn’t just smoke crack, he’s been caught on video smoking crack… in what appears to be a crack house… with a crack dealer. The video was first discovered by some Toronto journalists and our friends at Gawker. Shortly after the existence of the clip became public it disappeared but has now resurfaced and is the hands of the chief of police. The public still hasn’t seen the video but now it’s just a matter of time. I don’t care who you are, this makes for good reading.
“Why”, you might ask, am I so interested in a Canadian drama (Canada is not known for quality entertainment – just entertainers)? If I am being completely honest its because our own political backyard is so completely fucked up that the only way I can get through the day without killing myself is by discovering and judging the weaknesses of others.
Thank you Mr. Ford, you wonderful, fat, stupid, lying sack of shit!